redirected.

blogger and i are suffering from irreconcilable differences.

i am continuing at http://aizalbaby.livejournal.com

believe me, blog, i'll miss you.

but you can't keep a good girl down for too long.

you're missing the best part of the day!

sometimes i feel as though i am missing the best part of my life.
it all feels very...mechanical?
and that i'm not doing enough.
i should be reading more books, i should be seeing more bands, i should be going out more often, i should be doing better at uni, i should be making more money.
instead i am muddling through it all on autopilot.
it bothers me.
i feel like i should believe strongly about something, and work to make that real, but i don't.

i was thinking about something today - being in a band, specifically, and how josh's band isn't really coming together all that well.
and
and here is my honest-to-goodness real thought that i had:
"oh well, next time we'll start when we're like sixteen".

and then it struck me.
there. is. no. next. time.
and i'm missing all of the first/ONLY time.


and here is where i was going to write a song
but i can't get it
together right now
i know the vibe
because i'm breaking up with you
or maybe you broke up with me
and i don't care
hear this? i don't care!
but in reality i care a lot

that is how it is going to be
when i get it
together.

maintenant

{post deleted by author}

fragments

some things that are floating in my head. should turn them into something real at some point.

that's what she said
i can see that being an awesome basis for a song.
like, as the title, and also in the chorus. so pretty much the song is the guy telling a story about what she said to him.

i'm a liar and you're a cheater
so maybe we were meant to be together after all
kind of a "nobody's perfect" kind of thing. like how the misfits all band together? the people who are bad at relationships deserve each other. if that makes sense.

i dont have enough brainpower to expand either of these ideas right now. hit me up if you have any.

halftime

maybe tomorrow
when you're better dressed
we might
have this conversation again
and maybe you will
understand me more
and what
exactly what i'm trying to say

you see lately i've come to realise
that you love me more than i do you
and what's more i've found in your eyes
that you don't really care

nickelback

i heard a song on the radio for the very first time today. here is how the chorus goes.

by now you know that
i'd come for you
no one but you
yes I'd come for you
but only if you told me to


it amused me.

a song by someone else

yes its true that i once went through life
as a guy who always had to rhyme life with strife
yes i've been burned and i've been spurned
and through it all yes i have learned
that love is not about whether you get stabbed
but how slow the knife gets turned
but my friends i've found an animal who doesn't feel this pain
and my life is so much better now that i can feel the same

because you can't hate the night
if you've lived your whole life without light
you can't hate the dish
if you've only ever eaten fish
and you can't feel alone
if its all you've ever known

the deep sea anglerfish has no reason to be happy but it has no frikken idea what else to be

the deep sea dwelling anglerfish never has to find a mate
they are always there together when its time to procreate
see one dark night a young male bites a female on her side
and then slowly he becomes a sperm producing parasite
and if we can say he lives at all, he lives until she dies
and until that day he literally never leaves her side

yeah you can't hate the night
if you've lived your whole life without light
and you can't hate the dish
if you've only ever eaten fish
and you can't feel alone
if its all you've ever known

the deep sea anglerfish has no reason to be happy but it has no frikken idea what else to be

for years this rule has kept me out of hopeless despair
you simply do not feel what is always there
i ask my brain to entertain that pain is the same
that if i feel it all the time can you really call it pain
i don't have any friends and i dont have any hair
but neither does the anglerfish and she doesn't care

because you can't hate the night
if you've lived your whole life without light
and you can't hate the dish
if you've only ever eaten fish
and you can't feel alone
if its all you've ever known

the deep sea anglerfish has no reason to be happy but it has no frikken idea what else to be

feelin' inspired

the one about hats

i want a car
i want a guitar
i want a million other things and every one of them is you with a different hat on
i wanna make love
i wanna make music
i'm gonna live to be a million and i'll always look the same cause skinny's sexy

your mouth ain't big enough for me
and i've got more pairs of shoes than you
and i drip
like candles on the carpet
it's so damn cool

if you're a doll
then i'm a pinecone
and once they named a star for me and it was called jimi britney cobain madonna
i want a car
i want a bass drum
and i'll live to be a million of you each without a name or a conscience cause i'm like that

your mouth ain't big enough for me
and i've got more pairs of shoes than you
and i drip
like candles on the carpet
it's so damn cool

and i've got a body to die for
and i'm gonna be your doll
and i'm a million other things
a sexy draggin' courtney-lovin' version of the other kind of you

your mouth ain't big enough for me
and i've got more pairs of shoes than you
and i drip
like candles on the carpet
it's so your mouth ain't big enough
and i've got more pairs of shoes than you
and i drip
like candles
like candles
like candles on the carpet

it's so damn cool.


baby starfuck

all eyes on a short skirt
and ratted out hair
and big pouty lips
she clings to the railing
with eyes on the star
slowly swinging hips
the band knows her face well
she's been here before
they spat out the pips

holes in every pair of stockings
baby starfuck never goes home
glowing down her face
cause she thinks that being close
makes her as bright as any star

baby starfuck
under fluorescent lights
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love
little baby starfuck
under little baby's star
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love

all eyes on a short skirt
she's wearing no shoes
eyes smudged down her face
she clings to the railing
the day's not her scene
daylight's not her place
the guys know her ass well
more times than today
one's still got the lace

holes in every pair of stockings
baby starfuck never goes home
glowing down her face
cause she thinks that being close
makes her as bright as any star

baby starfuck
under fluorescent lights
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love
little baby starfuck
under little baby's star
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love

baby starfuck
under fluorescent lights
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love
little baby starfuck
under little baby's star
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love

and baby never remembers the night before
but she knows it must've been good
cause baby goes back there six nights a week
and she knows she must've been good
and they know that baby works good

holes in every pair of stockings
baby starfuck never goes home
glowing down her face
cause she thinks that being close
makes her as bright as any star

baby starfuck
under fluorescent lights
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love
little baby starfuck
under little baby's star
you gotta get you some love
you gotta get you some love

bleh. i thought i had a whole song but all i had was one and a half shitty verses.

i got tired of hanging round mama and daddy's two bit town
needed to find a way to get out of the country
i wanted something new to see wanted new roads under my feet
something something something something hungry


so i got up to get down and took the bus right into town
cause mama said i oughta start out with the city
the city lights looked so fine and it almost blew my mind
and the girls i saw were all so goddamned pretty

miss universe

everybody says she's so beautiful
they don't see her face is so deceitful
there is nothing there under her skin
never knew a thought could be such a sin

maybe you're miss universe
but that's all you have going for you
pretty faces dont mean shit
and its all you have going for you
and when all you got is not enough
where are you gonna go now, pretty girl
cause you could be miss universe
and i still wouldn't want you back for the world

things ally likes

in no particular order

using the compactor
driving down main north road
singing
when josh says the word 'lovely'
playing in the rain
britney spears
dancing
fizzers
swimming all alone
wearing high heels
a big plastic cup full of ice
taking pens apart
hula hoops
looking at toys in the shops
tricking people
cheeseburgers for one dollar ninety five
card games
squirms
meeting new people
trying on clothes with no intention of buying them

drafts

kissyface

its kinda like a tickle and its kinda like an itch
and it makes me kinda dizzy and my tummy starts to pitch
its a funny kinda feeling and it's kinda hard to place
when i see his mmmmmm
kissyface

untitled

she's at her most beautiful in the morning
it seems she shines the brightest then
she quietens the monster from waking
and she lets my body rest again

she's an angel
god knows why she would want a freak like me
and did i mention she's my angel

its like she doesn't even see the seams
where i've tried to pull myself apart
i'm so dirty against her perfect body
but she heals the scars and thats a start

she's an angel
god knows why she would want a freak like me
and did i mention she's my angel

and its like i catch a glimpse of heaven
and its like i've never been to hell
and its like i catch a glimpse of heaven
and its like i've never been to hell

she's an angel
god knows why she would want a freak like me
and did i mention she's my angel

she's at her most beautiful in the morning
it seems she shines the brightest then

the rules

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

7. If you break the cookie first, all the calories fall out.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

11. Foods eaten while watching a major event on television do not count. Major events include: Super bowl, Hockey Finals, Indy 500, Jerry Springer show.

12. Power bars and other type energy bars make you thinner. In all my years of exercising (at least three times a year) I have only seen thin people eating energy bars. Therefore they must make you thin.

13. Snickers is the same as an energy bar (see #12)

14. Tasting other people's food does not add to your calorie count.

15. Containers of food that list the number of servings as greater than one are lying. Every container includes one serving. Half gallon of ice cream, box of cereal, bottle of soda, bag of chips are all one serving.

double up double up

untitled

on tuesday at two forty six am i changed my status to single
and at three eighteen am you changed yours to single too
i noticed, but when i saw you at the shops later i pretended that i'd signed out already.

on wednesday night you still said single and she'd written on your wall
i thought that was kind of odd, cause hers still said taken
so i got my bike and rode past your place to have a look but her car was still there

on thursday afternoon we went to carl's place for beer and doritos
and you were there with your corona, but i didn't see her
and you didn't look at me all night but that's okay cause you don't usually talk to me anyway

at eleven thirty four pm on friday you changed your status to it's complicated
i wondered what she thought of that but i guess she was offline
so instead i watched a movie that you said you liked but i never really got into it

i had to go to work on saturday cause i took friday off so i didn't go to the beach
she went though, and when i saw the photos you both looked kinda happy
so now i don't know what to think and whether i even have a chance anymore and why you still like her

and you know every time i've seen you since then you never quite meet my eye
and i wonder if you know and whether you told her cause she never lets on
its always a little awkward when we're together and i promise i'll never tell that you kissed me that one time

although it probably would have been the best day of my life.


untitled no. 2

you are a river
you are always changing
i am a rock
you cannot move me.