packin' it in

i was going to stop blogging. i realised all i did was whinge. and no one read anything worth reading here.

regular little emo, aren't i?

but then last night
as i was lying in bed
feeling downright sorry for myself
i decided i'd bring this all back to life. for two reasons

a) i need somewhere to whinge, even if its stupid whiney bitching that i shouldn't be posting
b) it's been so long since i've posted that no one will read it anymore, hence it won't matter what i post

so all in all, i win.

but yeah. stuff has been a little shitty lately. and there are some people i haven't been very nice to. i have a couple of resolutions though.

a) i will no longer tell everyone everything. i will keep some secrets, even if they are not neccessarily 'secret' things.
b) saying i'm fat won't make me thin, so i will stop it.
c) you're obsessive. stop it.
d) this isn't really a resolution. more of a realisation about myself. i have a terrible terrible fear of failure.

i had to go to a rave thing on friday. talking about what we want to do with our lives, and what our passions are. i realised i don't actually have a passion. it's not like i'm passionate about something stupid which i'm embarrassed to say. it's just that i don't have one. and that makes me sad.
i mean, i used to. there used to be something i really was passionate about, a couple of things. then i realised i was shit at them and was never going to make anything out of it. and then i stopped caring about them.

that makes me really sad.