to me

summer

= music
clothes
swimming
early sunday mornings
reinvention
friends
shopping
icy poles

= everything i love.

holidays

= one of my favourite things.
when you go away for them. and especially airports, or if we're roadtripping, small country towns. because you can be anyone you want, and no one knows any better. they don't know how popular or clever or rich or alternative you really are - so you can try anything on. and if you don't like it, then when you go home you can take it off again.

= i do believe that i'm going to spend the rest of my life on holidays.

unisa open day

= i have seen the light.



and now for something totally unrelated...


religion

everyone knows i'm not particularly religious person. i mean, i'm basically christian. which means i celebrate christmas and easter, and that's about it. if i were in a muslim country, i'd probably adopt the same attitude to islam. so yeah, all in all i'm not particularly religious.

but

when stuff gets horrible, something kind of odd happens. like, there was a point in my life which absolutely sucked. it was honestly the worst thing that has ever happened to me. i cannot describe the suckiness of this period of my life. well, maybe i could if you asked, but i don't want to. i tried writing it down once, and ended up in tears just thinking about it (but if you want to know, i'll tell you. you deserve that much).

anyway, while it sucked for me, i think it sucked for my mum a whole lot more, and it wasn't even her it was happening to. one time, she sat me down and asked how i was doing, cause i wasn't showing anything. she said i was being so strong. she said if something like that happened to her, she'd probably break down completely. admittedly, i was pretty close to breaking point myself.

and then she said something totally uncharacteristic.
"he only gives out what you can handle. that's why this is happening to you, and not someone else."
and you have no idea how much that helped. like, it was possibly the single most meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me.


i'm still not religious. but i still believe that statement is true, and it still gets me through things.

because it's only the stuff i can handle.