you know, if you invest a lot of time and love and effort into something, and it falls flat on its face, that is a really really sucky thing to happen. like, it kinda hurts.
and i don't want that to happen to me, ever. if there's something that has the potential to hurt, she tries to minimise it in by preparing for it. she creates a bit of a detachment, so that when it inevitably fails, she won't mind too much.
but that's a difficult line to walk. it makes it harder to keep caring. and she tries ever so hard to do that. she tries to make herself not lose interest and get bored, because she knows that would incredibly suck to be the other person.
its a tricky place to be.
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