wordcount

i'm such an idiot. i'm writing my review draft, and the wordcount is seriously screwing me over.

i mean, i'll get to five hundred words, and then i'll take a break.
oh look, i'm up to four hundred and forty four. only about fifteen left?
two sentences later, i hit wordcount again.
what? only four hundred and seventy? goddamit, i was treating numbers like time again.

you know, i had a thought about the perfect me. you know, when i like myself the most.
its when i'm not behind on anything at school
when i'm not actually involved with any guy(s)
when i put my girlfriends first
when i'm not trying to impress anyone
when there's at least one guy who's interested in me
when i'm at a party, and paying attention to everyone, instead of just a couple of people
when i make new friends
when i don't feel like any one is judging me

and you know what? that was most of last year. it was sweet.
and i figure life's never going to be like that for me again
so i'm glad i enjoyed it while it lasted.