quod me nutrit me destruit

^^ yeah check it out. how's my latin?^^

bleh. everything i have eaten in the past two days is out of a packet.

i want real food.

wait, no. that's a lie. what i really want is to undo all the food from the past two days.
i can't believe i've been such a pig.

ew.

although. if i gain a little weight, i could be all like "exams made me gain like five kilos" and then possibly parentals would approve the soup diet. but maybe they wouldn't and i'd just be fatter. that would be funny though.
why the hell can't i break that magic number? is it that hard to go <130?

you are what you eat and you are fat. obese. wretched. disgusting. a blob of disease rotting your pathetic life away, taking up too much space on a planet only fit for thin. - what a girl eats.

gah. looking at me makes me sick. its disgusting. i don't even have ribs any more.

apparently i have small bones as well. and i know i have very little muscle mass so don't even try attributing it to that. fuck it. i weigh more than he does. you know how utterly sad that is?

fat girls can't wear nice shoes. that's a fact, did you know it? nice shoes make fat girls look fatter.
i have no nice shoes.

went shopping with laura. i'm twice her clothing size. everything good only comes in small.

did you know that the average american woman is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 lb? ((lol for using imperial measurements)). thats really quite overweight. so when people tell you that you are about average weight, just think of what they are saying.

i want your heart-shaped lips lips
cooler hula hips
i want to feel my bones on your bones
yeah
i wear my heartache at my sleeve
i love myself too much to see
it haunts my dreams
it haunts my every dream

every boy wants a body to die for and
every girl who's thin is his rival
i wish i had a body to die for
skinny is sexy big isn't beautiful

i'm gonna shed me some skin
get me real real slim
i want to feel my bones on your bones
baby
i am a teenage drama queen,
i throw my guts up for self-esteem
it haunts my dreams
it haunts my every dream

and every boy wants a body to die for and
every girl who's thin is his rival
i wish i had a body to die for
skinny is sexy big isn't beautiful
- king adora

i can never work out if that song is a parody or not. i don't think it is though. thats a gorgeous line though - i want to feel my bones on your bones.

i need to recondition my brain. you know, get it into my head that i really don't need to be eating crap like timtams and shapes. that's the hardest part. once i know that i don't need that, once i know deep down, then i'll be fine. i'm going to live the rest of my life on diet coke.

cause no one takes fat girls seriously.
you know, just for once i'd love to have someone say to me "you're so thin". well, grandma said it once but that doesn't count because i know she was lying. but seriously. i always get "you're well proportioned". who the fuck wants to be well proportioned? that just means you're fat all over.


fatty fatty mcfatfat.